Selfies.... or lack thereof

            “A picture is worth a thousand words” is an adage I have lived by ever since I read it once… in a book… that I cannot even remember now…

But anyway!!! I have always been fascinated by photos and how they tell a story that is up to one’s interpretation. It does raise a question for curious minds: how does the photograph of a scenery differ from a selfie? They are both forms of capturing a photo, after all. However, some might argue that they would be the ones capturing the picture instead of being the subject of one---it feels entirely different. To that, I agree wholeheartedly. I love capturing photos of my travels or of the people I love but I hate being photographed and I rarely take selfies.

Looking back at my Facebook and Instagram timeline, I concluded one thing: I was a selfie addict with no shame in my body. Regardless of how I looked, I would always post it if I liked the photo. Unfortunately, digital footprint is way more serious than it seems because while I may have the power to erase all these photos, people (my family, specifically) already have it saved on their phones. Albeit feeling embarrassed, I quite admire my bravery for being able to post those photos without feeling an ounce of shame nor regret at that moment in time.

Besides, most of the filters I used were on trend and staying on trend is kind of one way to mingle with other people? Maybe. Perhaps.

Times have passed, things have changed; more particularly, I have changed. If you had asked the 13-year-old me if I did anything to look pretty in my photos, she would have answered a “Not really” (an entire lie, by the way but you believe what you want to believe). I mean, I made a meme out of myself (my sister has a gallery full of my not-so-attractive selfies). Those photos reflect the brave side of who I am. Someone unafraid to pose in front of a camera without caring of what other people might think and someone who purposely makes a fool out of herself because she knows that’s what will make the people she loves laugh.

Do I still do it? Of course. But not as often as I used to. Which can be quite a shame--my beauty should not be hidden. Yet, at the same time, I have grown more and more conscious of how I look and how I act. I’ve got nothing to lose but also, I’m just a human who has insecurities, possibly more that I had before.

So, when I feel like I look decent enough or just want to feel pretty, I grab my phone and snap a ton of photos (only to post one or two of them, by the way).

“Photography is a language more universal than words.” It is a representational system that holds and communicates meanings through an image of a person, or a scene (S. Hall, 2013).

Personally, I don’t think these selfies mirror who I truly am but rather, they reflect on what I want people to see. Yes, it is still me but how can one make a conclusion out of my entire personality based on one selfie? Admittedly, I have always said “It makes sense” whenever I see people take photos the way I would expect them to, based on how I perceive them, and it also happens when I see how people act in real life based on their social media posts. However, with media convergence, people can craft an entirely different personality online and even with how they take photos. And I don’t differ from these people. I take and post selfies in a way that I know will make me look and feel attractive. But in reality? I am full on insecurities and prefer use different applications and a bunch of filters just so I can take what I classify as a “decent” photo.

One of my biggest insecurities lie on my face; which is quite ironic if I must say so myself because when you take selfies, you usually have to show your face, right? So, I go on photo apps (my favorite is Snapchat, if anyone cares) and just scroll through various filters to find one that suits the vibe that I am going for. The photo has to be from an attractive angle of my face, so I usually turn to angle my face a bit away from the camera. And I know it’s a trend that’s long gone but pouting my lips are a must for me in like 90% of my selfies since I tend to want to look cute. If you ask me my favorite combo, it would be a wink and a pout! ;)

I am also a big mirror selfie girl! Sometimes, I would want to show off my outfit of the day or the photo at the back of my phone; although, most of the times, it’s the former. I feel like I look better when using the back camera of my phone too!

Do I consider these photos a fair representation of myself? Maybe. Perhaps.

Even if it is not a representation of my entire personality, I still but a bit of effort to make it seem like it is still me. I tend to pout a lot in real life, especially if I’m sulking and I consider winking my talent because the amount of people I know that don’t know how to do that is quite… a range. In their defense, winking can be hard. I may engage in filters that improve my appearance, but they don’t truly alter what I look like in real life. These are the things that you can conclude from a single selfie, maybe even if you were to observe my entire gallery. But it is not a reflection of the entirety of who I am as a person.

Photographs, after some time, take a life of their own. People can construct and derive meanings that may be far from what the original taker was meant to present. It can share stories and create value of life from one single snap. However, one cannot truly say that their conclusions align with the true feelings behind each photo. After all, a photograph is worth a thousand words.